Transcript: This is the transcript of the interview. The sections in blue are my questions, and the sections in bold are what I decided to use for the edited version.
Tell me about your time in Manila and religion. I was brought up by my grandparents in Manila. My grandmother used religion to keep me in line by instilling a healthy fear of the wrath of god. I guess I can I still remember my religious upbringing. If I don't eat enough or eat fast enough my grandmother Jesus would be angry. Um If I talked back to her or rebel, god would punish me. If I made too much noise, she threaten that I calling demons. Well, this kinda upbringing obviously made me a very devout and fearful catholic boy. At a very young age I was accustomed to saying my rosaries and novenas to St. Jude Thaddeus and of course St. Pancratius, which is my mums favourite saint.
Could you tell me about the demons again? Basically when I made to much noise if I’m knocking on the walls if I’m banging something my grandma would say that I’m summoning demons.
So if you made too much noise Id be summoning demons.
How dat effect you? I guess it kinda gave me a paranoid fear of god And in this way i guess, I was introduced to Catholic guilt. Can you tell me more about how you lived as a child? I lived an overprotected and sheltered childhood; I wasn't allowed to play like normal kids, have fun, test my limits, try new things, push the boundaries to see, to see what would happen. My grandparents sort of instilled an unhealthy fear of people, and the world around me. I guess Fear and guilt was their method of teaching.
So this might have affected you later in life. Of course Later other later childhood traumas expressed itself in my teenage years as social phobias, obsessive compulsive disorders, and major depression Tell me about when your mum returned for overseas. Just before I turned six my mother returned to the phillipines, (plane sound) um but mainly to take me away from the philipines and away form my grandparents and to move to Australia So your mum took you away Yeah well um, just before I turned 6 my mother returned only to take me away from Manila and my grandparents to Australia. Away to a strange land filled with strange people with a strange woman I barely knew because I didn’t grow up with her. Eventually I learned to call her mum. My mother and I had to go at it alone.
So what was it like going to school here. I guess being such a sensitive child, my schooling years only further amplified and aggravated my withdrawn and fearful disposition. That’s what really turned me to Jesus.
When you went to Jesus what did you do? I prayed to Jesus to make it better and to stop the other kids being mean and making me feel left out. I guess As a little boy, I prayed very hard to Jesus, but it seemed he wasn't listening was he. all my upbringing taught that Jesus helped you when you were good.
So what did you do next then? So I decided to pray more. It initially started with sets of threes, the trinity number. (three sound) But he still didn't listen. I knew he wasn't listening because when I was nine years old I awoke in the middle of the night to find my mother trying to drown herself. (water drop sound)(three sound) That’s terrible The memory is still very vivid. She was naked in an overflowing bath tub, with an empty bottle of spirits on the floor. For some reason, I was eerily calm for a boy at that age. In fact my memory, felt like an emotionless void. I found out later that my mum and her boyfriend were breaking up and um and she didn't have any reason to live. Apparently I wasn't reason enough. (three sound)
So what did you do next? I decided that praying in sets of threes wasn't enough. So I increased it to sets of seven, which is apparently Jesus' number. (seven sound) When I was twelve mum had a new boyfriend we went for a holiday to Queensland. Would have been a good time but um I woke up one night and I could hear them both screaming at each other. Um. All I remember was .. him pulling her out onto the outside of our room, so in the corridor. You know in the public space. And she was naked…. And um no mmm I don’t want to talk about it.. ok.
At this point we stopped the recording and had a little break. We came back where I asked about what he did…. And then we started again. And he was violent towards her. (seven sound) This time the sets of seven prayers weren't going to be enough. I started praying in sets of twelves, one for every disciple. (twelve sound) From that day forward I prayed harder and with more conviction, just to stop bad things from happening. It didn’t take long before these repetition started to effect my life such as how I ate how many time I washed my hair how many time I brushed my teeth. Washing every part of my body.All these had to be done twelve times. (twelve sound) This continued on throughout the early years of my high schooling.
Publish your radio cut
Final Interview Podcast:
This is the edited final version of the interview.
Original Recording:
This is the original recording
Back to Radio Cut
Transcript:
This is the transcript of the interview. The sections in blue are my questions, and the sections in bold are what I decided to use for the edited version.
Tell me about your time in Manila and religion.
I was brought up by my grandparents in Manila. My grandmother used religion to keep me in line by instilling a healthy fear of the wrath of god.
I guess I can I still remember my religious upbringing. If I don't eat enough or eat fast enough my grandmother Jesus would be angry. Um If I talked back to her or rebel, god would punish me. If I made too much noise, she threaten that I calling demons. Well, this kinda upbringing obviously made me a very devout and fearful catholic boy. At a very young age I was accustomed to saying my rosaries and novenas to St. Jude Thaddeus and of course St. Pancratius, which is my mums favourite saint.
Could you tell me about the demons again?
Basically when I made to much noise if I’m knocking on the walls if I’m banging something my grandma would say that I’m summoning demons.
So if you made too much noise
Id be summoning demons.
How dat effect you?
I guess it kinda gave me a paranoid fear of god And in this way i guess, I was introduced to Catholic guilt.
Can you tell me more about how you lived as a child?
I lived an overprotected and sheltered childhood; I wasn't allowed to play like normal kids, have fun, test my limits, try new things, push the boundaries to see, to see what would happen. My grandparents sort of instilled an unhealthy fear of people, and the world around me. I guess Fear and guilt was their method of teaching.
So this might have affected you later in life.
Of course Later other later childhood traumas expressed itself in my teenage years as social phobias, obsessive compulsive disorders, and major depression
Tell me about when your mum returned for overseas.
Just before I turned six my mother returned to the phillipines, (plane sound) um but mainly to take me away from the philipines and away form my grandparents and to move to Australia
So your mum took you away
Yeah well um, just before I turned 6 my mother returned only to take me away from Manila and my grandparents to Australia. Away to a strange land filled with strange people with a strange woman I barely knew because I didn’t grow up with her. Eventually I learned to call her mum. My mother and I had to go at it alone.
So what was it like going to school here.
I guess being such a sensitive child, my schooling years only further amplified and aggravated my withdrawn and fearful disposition. That’s what really turned me to Jesus.
When you went to Jesus what did you do?
I prayed to Jesus to make it better and to stop the other kids being mean and making me feel left out.
I guess As a little boy, I prayed very hard to Jesus, but it seemed he wasn't listening was he. all my upbringing taught that Jesus helped you when you were good.
So what did you do next then?
So I decided to pray more. It initially started with sets of threes, the trinity number. (three sound) But he still didn't listen.
I knew he wasn't listening because when I was nine years old I awoke in the middle of the night to find my mother trying to drown herself. (water drop sound)(three sound)
That’s terrible
The memory is still very vivid. She was naked in an overflowing bath tub, with an empty bottle of spirits on the floor. For some reason, I was eerily calm for a boy at that age. In fact my memory, felt like an emotionless void.
I found out later that my mum and her boyfriend were breaking up and um and she didn't have any reason to live. Apparently I wasn't reason enough. (three sound)
So what did you do next?
I decided that praying in sets of threes wasn't enough. So I increased it to sets of seven, which is apparently Jesus' number. (seven sound)
When I was twelve mum had a new boyfriend we went for a holiday to Queensland. Would have been a good time but um I woke up one night and I could hear them both screaming at each other. Um. All I remember was .. him pulling her out onto the outside of our room, so in the corridor. You know in the public space. And she was naked…. And um no mmm I don’t want to talk about it.. ok.
At this point we stopped the recording and had a little break. We came back where I asked about what he did…. And then we started again.
And he was violent towards her. (seven sound)
This time the sets of seven prayers weren't going to be enough. I started praying in sets of twelves, one for every disciple. (twelve sound) From that day forward I prayed harder and with more conviction, just to stop bad things from happening. It didn’t take long before these repetition started to effect my life such as how I ate how many time I washed my hair how many time I brushed my teeth. Washing every part of my body. All these had to be done twelve times. (twelve sound) This continued on throughout the early years of my high schooling.
Back to Radio Cut